Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
