hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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