Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Randomize
