Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
