what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
