your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
