Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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