When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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