Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
