when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
