He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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