I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
