Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Let's get the cat blown out
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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