We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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