Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
