he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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