I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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