just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
