someone get that fucking seahorse.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
