you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
