i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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