Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
