I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
