she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
