Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
