felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
