She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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