she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
