My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
