Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize