I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
