He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
