thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
