We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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