accomplished twins. life is a go
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
