my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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