Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
