I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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