I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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