I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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