Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
