Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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