I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
