i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
