I CAN MOONWALK!
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
