it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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