Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize