Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
