So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize