do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
