come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You ruined the universe
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize