I am in a vortex of obligation.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I understand Curling. That high.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Hippo gnu deer
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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