I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
