i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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