We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
