he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
