I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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