just come out here and I will go home with you...
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
