so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
