If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize