When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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