In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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