My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
